Frequently I hear stories about family members, friends, lovers, and partners who are estranged from one another and estranged from entire family. It can easily happen. Often we are not in sync with those we love.
Today I am going to suggest that if you have such a situation in your life you do something about it NOW.
Estranged From Entire Family
While it is easy to hold onto thoughts and feelings about how we have been harmed, it takes a toll, both on YOU and the other person. If you have a situation of this nature in your life, it may be beneficial to examine whether you are contributing to creating the circumstances that have led to the estrangement. For more informative blogs visit boost monkey.
Oddly, yet understandably, most of us feel that we are right and the other party is wrong. Just like most of us are certain we are great drivers (yes, that is meant to bring a smile).
It Can’t Be Me!
It appears to be almost “human nature” to attribute the cause to something outside ourselves when facing tense interchanges with others. Perhaps this is because you can only look at life from your own perspective, and of course, your perspective is what makes sense to you. After all, it is YOUR perspective. We are, if you have noticed, in our own skin.
Naturally, though, the other person is also viewing all situations from their perspective, which is all that s/he can do estranged from entire family. Imagine that! Others don’t think, feel, and process the way you do.
Ponder this. Mull it over. Wrap your mind around it. For while it is obvious, many of us don’t consider this. We don’t know what it is like to be inside another’s skin. It would be ever so fascinating to have that experience, would it not? (Wow, my mind could really go places with that, but alas it is another topic altogether!).
It takes tremendous maturity to expand to include the other’s perspective. Yet, to do so invites healing and love. The ability to take in the other in this way UNITES us.
We Can Be Very Right And Be Very Alone
It is not really a matter of right and wrong. We can be very right and end up being very alone.
Blame is useless in the end and sometimes downright silly. Ultimately, it leads nowhere as it does nothing to resolve the conflict. That includes placing blame on ourselves.
By saying that blame is useless, I am not implying that people don’t sometimes do things that are reprehensible estranged from entire family. Or that you might not have a great point and could get 99 out of 100 people to agree that you have been wronged.
I am not even saying that there aren’t situations in which it is best to keep your distance and completely remove yourself. I have worked with people who have experienced tremendous abuse and the issue of forgiveness is not one I view as a given in all situations. At the least, I cannot appreciate the platitudes that are pushed on people to convince them that they need to forgive. For the purposes of this post, though, I am addressing situations that are not this extreme in nature.
For a variety of reasons people who love each other fall out of favor with one another. You may find yourself in this situation and thinking that things will get better. Before you know it, the time has passed – sometimes a lot of time – and you find that the situation has not been resolved.
Pride – A Little Goes A Long Way
Pride is one reason that you may have for not taking the first step. While I believe a degree of pride is a good thing, you know what they say about too much of a good thing! Although I am not ordinarily into “sin”, I’d like to point out that I believe there is a reason pride is considered one of the seven “deadly” sins.
Allowing pride to stand between yourself and someone you love is not wise estranged from entire family. If pride has become more important than love, you have lost your true wealth.
Self-Examination Opens The Door For Love To Enter
Healing requires open self-examination and a willingness to take a step. Self-examination is different from blame. It can lead to greater awareness and the opportunity for healing and love.
Harboring negative feelings for someone you love is hard on you. It drains your energy. It can make you sick. It hurts the people you love. And you lose touch with the reality that tomorrow is not promised.
I know we hear it often in reference to these situations, but I must go there too. How would you feel if the loved one you were estranged from entire family was gone tomorrow? Would whatever the grudge is that you are holding have been worth it? Would you be comfortable with how things were left?
If so, then you are probably alright. If not, why not take that first step and reach out today? Only you can examine your own relationships and make that judgment call.
Love Is A Potent Medicine
Reaching out is not necessarily saying you are sorry – or feeling sorry. Perhaps you are not estranged from entire family Maybe you have not “done” anything to be sorry for. And sometimes those you love push all your buttons and “drive you up the wall”. I get it, I’ve been there! There may always be things about them you are not going to particularly enjoy.
In some cases, the person will not be able to respond in the manner you would hope they could. We all have wounds and some more than others estranged from entire family. If someone is emotionally closed down, it indicates that the person is trapped in hurt, pain, or rage and is unable to move beyond it. They are suffering. You may not get the outward response you would hope for, but do not confuse this with assuming the person is not responding inwardly.
If you feel strongly that the person is not likely to respond lovingly, then reach out for your own sake. Take the high road, so to speak. But, don’t close down to the possibility that they may be able to respond with love. You may be surprised.
A great way to start could be with a simple statement such as: “I know we may not agree…but I want you to know I love you”. And then avoid engaging in any argument about the topic of disagreement. Stay with this original statement and don’t bite on any of the hooks you may tend to become entangled in with the other person. I love you is the strongest statement you can make estranged from entire family.
If you are willing to open your heart and embrace the love you have for the person, the opportunity for healing presents itself. People respond to the generosity of spirit and kindness. They respond to love. Love heals the soul.
